Things Could Be Worse (Day 1)
It could be worse, at least I'm not in the army.
My classes are interesting and my teachers are pretty cool for the most part. The only thing that really pisses me off so far, besides trouble finding parking, is that I hate people. Pierce is full of all the subspecies of people the world has grown to hate. Here's the list I've come up with:
Douche v2- Anyone who saw 40 Year Old Virgin should remember a scene where they go to the clinic and take the sex class thing. There's the Jewish kid with the red afro. Well I saw that kid at Pierce. Giant red afro, psudo-intellicetual glasses, $70 T-shirt, and Pumas.
Hippius Douchimus (Hippie Douche)- the subspecies of the normal douche, which can also be found on campus. The hippie douche is worse though. Armed with his birkenstock sandals and french beret he must interject his socialist theories into political science lectures.
Stupid fat guy- there seems to be many of these on campus. I'm not sure what they do, but they can most commonly be found in remedial math classes, taking up lots of space.
Smokers- I don't smoke, but I was thinking that one of the cool things about junior college is that's its like high school with ashtrays. But then I forgot that while smoking may infact be cool, smokers suck. I used to not mind smoke, but that was before I couldn't walk five feet without inhaling a Camel Red.
The Asian- are you lost or somthing? This is community college.
Subspecies- 12 year old Asian girl- We know you've started college incredibly early and that's great. Its impressive, but us rejects here are trying to take these (semi)hard classes so we can go to a real college too. We don't need you to argue with the teacher about the subtle differences between communism and marxism, that's a discussion for smart people college. This is Pierce.
My English teacher is the best though. Not only his he flaming gay, but he's a former marine. I don't know how that happened, but I really hope I get off the standby list into his class, he seems to be a interesting guy.
I sit next to Juan and Javier. I know I told everyone I wanted to be closer to 'my people' but I wasn't serious.
We have a translator and a ASL (sign language) person in our class. Today my teacher was doing the roll and he calls out, "Is (deaf girl's name) here?" Then he waits a minute and goes, "Oh she's deaf." And then he calls her name again.
My oceanography teacher was trying to explain to my class that George Bush is punishing California by not giving us money to repair the levees in the central valley, becasue we are a 'blue state'. He says a earthquake is gonna come to the central valley and knock out San Francisco, and we can stop it but the government won't because we aren't repubicans. I'm transfering into a bio class monday I hope.
You'd think after reading this that I'm not having any fun, but so far I'm having a pretty good time.
My classes are interesting and my teachers are pretty cool for the most part. The only thing that really pisses me off so far, besides trouble finding parking, is that I hate people. Pierce is full of all the subspecies of people the world has grown to hate. Here's the list I've come up with:
Douche v2- Anyone who saw 40 Year Old Virgin should remember a scene where they go to the clinic and take the sex class thing. There's the Jewish kid with the red afro. Well I saw that kid at Pierce. Giant red afro, psudo-intellicetual glasses, $70 T-shirt, and Pumas.
Hippius Douchimus (Hippie Douche)- the subspecies of the normal douche, which can also be found on campus. The hippie douche is worse though. Armed with his birkenstock sandals and french beret he must interject his socialist theories into political science lectures.
Stupid fat guy- there seems to be many of these on campus. I'm not sure what they do, but they can most commonly be found in remedial math classes, taking up lots of space.
Smokers- I don't smoke, but I was thinking that one of the cool things about junior college is that's its like high school with ashtrays. But then I forgot that while smoking may infact be cool, smokers suck. I used to not mind smoke, but that was before I couldn't walk five feet without inhaling a Camel Red.
The Asian- are you lost or somthing? This is community college.
Subspecies- 12 year old Asian girl- We know you've started college incredibly early and that's great. Its impressive, but us rejects here are trying to take these (semi)hard classes so we can go to a real college too. We don't need you to argue with the teacher about the subtle differences between communism and marxism, that's a discussion for smart people college. This is Pierce.
My English teacher is the best though. Not only his he flaming gay, but he's a former marine. I don't know how that happened, but I really hope I get off the standby list into his class, he seems to be a interesting guy.
I sit next to Juan and Javier. I know I told everyone I wanted to be closer to 'my people' but I wasn't serious.
We have a translator and a ASL (sign language) person in our class. Today my teacher was doing the roll and he calls out, "Is (deaf girl's name) here?" Then he waits a minute and goes, "Oh she's deaf." And then he calls her name again.
My oceanography teacher was trying to explain to my class that George Bush is punishing California by not giving us money to repair the levees in the central valley, becasue we are a 'blue state'. He says a earthquake is gonna come to the central valley and knock out San Francisco, and we can stop it but the government won't because we aren't repubicans. I'm transfering into a bio class monday I hope.
You'd think after reading this that I'm not having any fun, but so far I'm having a pretty good time.
posted by D. Borenstein at 11:53 PM
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