The Philosophy of Coke

Standing outside after my philosophy class I was approached by one my classmates.

"Hey man, can I talk to you overhere for a minute?" He said.

I was pretty sure he was about to come on to me, but I went overthere with him anyways.

He looked at me and said, "Hey man, you got any yea?"

I kinda assumed 'yea' gay slang for somthing, but I went along anyways. "What's yea? You mean weed?"

"No man...yea...you know...yea...coke man...coke." Ah, coke. Everything made sense. He didn't have a gay look in his eyes, he was coked out.

"(Long silence) Umm...I don't do coke." I said.

"Ah man. I thought you did. Shit. Oh well." Then he walked away.

Think about it, would I be this fat if I did coke?

Economically Speaking

In econ today we were discussing the Federal Reserve System. At least I think we were. I was too busy playing with my springloaded pen to pay attention. I had taken the spring out of my pen, and replaced it with a three inch long super-spring.

Obviously nothing good could come of this, and I found that out today. While I was playing with the spring and trying to screw the pen together, I accidently let go and the pencap flew clear across the entire room bounching off the chalkboard and narrowly avoiding my teacher.

Oops.


Eventually I learned that we were infact talking about the Federal Reserve and my teacher brought up Alan Greenspan. "You know, I've been teaching economics since Alan Greenspan's been the chairman of the Federal Reserve." (Greenspan became the chairman in late 1986 or 1987.)

"Wow, do you realize that means you've been teaching econ since before I was born?" I said.

I think she got pretty depressed, becuase she let class out about a half hour early.

Sleeping with the Stars

I fell asleep in astronomy today. I'm not sure how my teacher knew, but I'm pretty sure the sunglasses were a dead giveaway.

Luckily it turns out about half the class was asleep so he mad at must me. "NASA spends millions of dollars for pictures of this stuff and you guys are sleeping," he said. "But its ok, because I'm sure all of you are sleeping because you were up late last night practicing astronomy."

"Does staying up late to watch Star Trek count as astronomy?" I asked, "Becuase in that case I study astronomy a lot."

He was not amused.

A Serious Entry

I had a interesting day to say the least. I completly butt-fucked my econ test, but more important was the conversation I overheard while taking the test.

I missed my econ class week to go to Mississippi, and I had to make-up a test today during my professor's office hours .

I went to my teacher's office to take it, and while I waited I got to enjoy the conversation a few other professors were having. I don't know everything they talked about and most of it was really unimportant(I do actually remember most of it, but none of it is revelent to the story).

What jumped out from their conversation I will repost here verbatum, with no artistic liscense taken:

Prof #1: ...Good luck with the job you're taking. (not exact quote, but to the same extent)
Prof #2: (talking about taking new job somewhere else) Ya, I think so too, although I was looking at the job SC was offering.
Prof #1: USC is downtown and you know what the problem with downtown is? There's a lot more niggers.
Prof #2: Ya, and they you have to walk to your car alone at night.

I'm kinda considering letting this die and not saying thing about it, but there's a part of me that knows that this isn't right and I should do somthing about it. So far I've had nothing bad to say about the faculty at my school, overall it's been great. I like my teachers and my classes.

I spent the weekend in Mississippi, and didn't hear the word 'nigger' once. I'm not saying nobody said it, because racism is generally everywhere, but I didn't hear it.
Until yesteray I was pretty sure that we have progressed enough that you would never, ever, expect to hear a professor to say somthing like, "there's a lot more niggers there."

Mississippi Here I Come

I'm going to Mississippi tomorow. I'll be back Sunday. Picture to come.

Until then.

www.meatspin.com

This is Epic Rap

I had a story but it wasn't funny and it didn't actually happen. But I was on one of my message boards tonite and someone posted a link to this song:

http://media.putfile.com/7th-Floor-Crew

This is by far the greatest rap song I've heard in a while. The story behind it is that the song was recorded by the University of Miami football team. Its epic I tell you. Listen to it.

Here's some of the best lines out of the song:

"Throw the legs up and stick it in the butt...Drop my drawres and let them see my third leg..."

"On my balls, on my dick, then I but a nut quick. On her face on her chest, stick my dick between her breast. Come on fellas let get weird, stick yo' dick up in her ear."

That's rap.

Don't Scratch Your Balls If You Write on a Chalk Board

My astronomy professor is a great guy. He's really smart, and a great teacher, but I think all the years of research have made him a little absent minded.

He writes a lot of things on our blackbaord, but never uses an eraser. Instead he wipes everything off with his hands, which would be fine, if he didn't decide to scratch his balls in the middle of class.

Dusty hands+ ball scratching= funny situation.

Seriously you try paying attention to the formation of double lobed galaxies when the guy explaining it to you has chalk all over his crotch.

Good times.

Economics Can Be Fun

In the middle of class my teacher suddenly blurts out, "I had a dream about the marginal propencity to cousume last night."

Someone asked if that happens often and she goes, "Ya, I usually have that dream once a week or so."

...

Not everyone in my class is very smart. Later in class my teacher asked, "Does anyone know which president in the 1960's raised taxes to stimulate the economy?"

Someone yells out, "Jimmy Carter?"

That my friend is why you are at Pierce.

The Difference Between Us

I talked to one of my friend up at Berkeley toay and we had a nice converation. I'm supposted to go up to Berkeley this weekend, to see some of my friend. Coming with me is supposed to be my friend's girlfriend, and another friend of mine, but none of us have a ride up.

We started talking and my friend asked if I had any ideas how I was going to get up there. I said I was thinking about trying to find a neutron star and a partical accelarator to create a wormhole from here to Berkeley. I figure that eight weeks of community college astronomy has given me enough knowledge and expierence to create a wormhole and exlpain the spacetime problem that has plagued mondern day astronomy.

My friend listened to me and goes, "Hmm...I'll ask my astronomy professor about that tomorrow, he's up for the Nobel Prize."


Guess that the difference between a University and junior college.

Meeting New People

I've met a few new people so far at my school. I wouldn't say I'm anti-social, but I haven't gone out of my way to meet new people. I'm trying leave as soon as possible, so making new friends isn't high on my list.

Though I have met a few intesting people. By my count I've met 6 new people who I talk to on a frequent basis. I've also restablished a friendship I had with someone who I haven't talked to in a long time.



I was standing outside my astronomy class today and I decided to go have a smoke. The only problem was I didn't have a lighter on me, but I saw two older women (30-35 years old) sitting on a bench smoking.

Seeing an oppertunity to not only smoke, but perhaps meet two semi-attractive older women, I approached them and asked for a light. Women #1 looked up at me and said, "Aren't you a little young to be smoking?"

I looked back at her and said, "Aren't you a little old to be at community college?"

Were going out for coffee on Thursday.

Never Fear I'm Still Here

I haven't updated in a while. But don't worry I have not decided to become a productive member of societ, I've just been kinda busy.

And by busy I mean lazy.

Whenever someone says somthing really funny or really stupid that I want to write about I write it in my notebook. But since I don't have any homework (even if I did I probably wouldn't do it) I rarely open my backpack at home, so my notebook never comes out.

A lot of times I have good ideas and start thinking about them in my head but forget when I get home. Sometimes somthing really funny happens, but I don't remember enough of the dialogue to make it worth writing, so I end up not talking about it.

I promise I'll have a update soon with some actual funny stories.

Until then I suggest you try this website: www.meatspin.com

You can thank me later.