Wrong Answers...And Other Things I Learned Today

Today my teacher told us about the Ephermal butterfly, a butterfly so rare it only lives for one day. Some days it rains.

Later we read a story on abortion, it was great. My teacher asked us to describe the image that sumed the story up for us. The image I came up with was a coat hanger. My teacher did not agree.


In my philosophy class there's this Russian guy I know. I went to high school with him, and he's pretty much a genius, but he's a bit odd. I mean very odd. But he's a great guy. This probably won't be funny because you probably don't know him, but this is my blog so lets assume you do.

Our philosophy tests are pretty straight forward true/false tests. If the question is true you mark true, and if its fale you have to explain what the right answwer.

This does not please Stalin, he has other plans.

He asks the teacher, "What eff, we think the answer iz true, but we vant to explain vhy it's right?"

My teacher gets quite tying to figure out what he was just asked and goes, "You know, Stalin, nobody's ever asked me that before."

That probably wasn't funny, unless you know who Stalin actually is.

This has nothing to do with college

Ugly people shop at Target. I found that out on Sunday. I saw two midgets, one black and one white shopping there together. That itself is funny, but just to make things better they were lesibans.

Here is me telling my friend what happened

Person5879: but i was two midgets at target yesterday
Person5879: one was black and one was white
Person5879: and they were lesbians
Nano****18: OMGZ
Person5879: my brain was going in so many different directions right then
Nano****18: You should have pointed at them
Nano****18: And made them feel extremely uncomfortable

You don't realize how many different ways my mind was thinking when I saw this.

This was even better:

Even more funny:

Person5879: i saw the funniest thing ever at target on sunday before i crashed my moms car
$$$Lamp: lol what'd you see?
Person5879: i saw two midgets shopping there
Person5879: which in itself is funny
Person5879: but one was black and one was white
Person5879: which is funny
$$$Lamp: you're such a horrible person
Person5879: but they were lesbians
$$$Lamp: okay, that is hilarious
$$$Lamp: I hope you stole a camera to take a picture

One More:

Person5879: i saw the ugliest/funniest people at target ever on sunday
Caustic$$$$: aren't those people always at target?
Person5879: i saw midgets
Person5879: which is funny
Person5879: but I saw two midgets
Person5879: one black and one white
Person5879: and they were lesbians
Caustic$$$$: oh man...
Caustic$$$$: talk about an endangered species...
Person5879: ya, I'm a bad person
Person5879: there's a reason I can't keep relationships
Caustic$$$$: no, randy newman is a bad person.

Random Thoughts From English

We were talking about World War I and the Balkans today and my teacher asks if anybody knew what happened in 1914, so I said, "that was the year the Archduke got shot." He asks who shot him so I say, "Garvilo Princip."

Then he starts talking and this girl raises her and asks who was the Archbishop who got shot. He explains it to her and she goes, "I think I saw that movie with Brad Pitt."

I started thinking, what if Brad Pitt taught English? I bet it would be somthing like this:

"Ok, do you want to learn how to write a 5-paragraph essay, or should I just stand up here and take my shirt off for the next two hours?"

Anyways, we went on with our somthing or other for a while and then we read a poem. The poem started somthing like, "I was on the corner of 4th and Lexington when I told my husband I needed an abortion."

Another girl asked if that was the thesis.

I believe my response was, "I'll get the plunger."